What can I do as an upstander?
YOU have the ability to begin changing cultural norms and acceptance of sexual harassment and violence.
YOU have the ability influence others around you to feel responsible and competent in intervening.
YOU have the ability to be a role model for helping others.
- Notice the Event
- Interpret it as a Problem
- Take Responsibility for Acting
- Decide How to Act
- Choose to Act
Reduce your risk
While victim-blaming is never appropriate and College of Southern Idaho fully recognizes that only those who commit sexual misconduct are responsible for their actions, CSI provides the following suggestions to help individuals reduce their risk of being victimized and their risk of committing acts of sexual misconduct.
Bystanders
- Don’t mind your own business.
- Explore the following types of abuse so you can better identify it: emotional, verbal, stalking, financial, physical, sexual and digital abuse.
- Look for warning signs of abuse.
- Err on the side of caution.
- Alert authority figure/police as needed.
- Put yourself in their shoes.
- Reach out, be supportive, listen and acknowledge their feelings.
- Connect them with resources.
Victims
- Create a safety plan at Love is Respect Safety Planning.
- Build a support system at home, work and school and in your community.
- Know your social networks.
- Update your privacy settings.
- Set boundaries.
- Recognize the cycle of violence: tension>incident>reconciliation> calm>tension.
- Keep detailed documentation.
- Explore the following types of abuse so you can better identify it: emotional, verbal, stalking, financial, physical, sexual and digital abuse.
Abusers
- Explore the following types of abuse so you can better identify it: emotional, verbal, stalking, financial, physical, sexual and digital abuse.
- Recognize the cycle of violence: tension>incident> reconciliation>calm>tension.
- Admit the behavior is wrong.
- Take responsibility for the problem and get help.
- With help, you can learn how to treat others with respect.
- Always ask for consent.
Obstacles to Seeking Help
These include shame, embarrassment, fear, believing abuse is normal, low self-esteem, lack of money, nowhere to go, pregnancy/parenting, distrust of police, language barriers/immigration status, social/peer pressure and cultural/religious reasons.
Relationship Rights
- Right to live free from violence and abuse
- Right to feel safe and respected
- Right to say NO
- Right to privacy, online and offline
- Right to do things you enjoy
- Right to end a relationship